As we will all have different (and varying energy levels), how we ensure that no one feels pressured into giving too much will need to be discussed and agreed upon. Here are some thoughts as a starting point – any comments and feedback is very welcome.

Initially, we are likely to rely on funding to pay for the heavier work needed for the groundwork. Although there are many organisations who could help us with this. But, in the long run, as we aim to be largely independent, we can build resilience by finding ways of understanding our own and others’ limits and strengths. And think about the pitfalls of working together as well as the benefits.

We need to be clear what we can each offer without exceeding our own energy limits. Personally, I think people with energy problems have learnt a lot about energy use that can be very useful to people who have more ‘normal’ limits.

Understudies

Aims

….    –  giving feedback/confidence,

….    –  allowing the ‘actor’ to take a break without exhausting explanations,

….   –  and, still being able to play a vital role despite having low energy.

We’re sure anyone reading this is very aware how important supportive roles are. More so than theatrical actors’ understudies. Even when they do very little, it can give the active person a different perspective and much more confidence .

For instance, if someone is interacting with a funding organisation or applying to register the group as a co-op, the understudy would read the correspondence (as and when they can) but generally not have to do any more than that. If the active person got exhausted, then the supporter would be able to alert and update someone else in the group who could take over. Obviously, just keeping up can take energy, so it would be good to have at least two understudies for each active person.

As most people are aware, stress is a major problem with energy issues, accelerating and compounding exhaustion. So this method (which has been used elsewhere) helps to reduce the stress involved in developing the project.

The feedback processes used in permaculture could be very useful for getting the balance right.

Physical versus gentler tasks – we have several possibilities – one is to depend on funding to pay for the heavier work. However, some people who are interested have sensitivities but are pretty able when these aren’t triggered. Others would like their healthy partners to join too. Also, I know others are like me in that they can do a lot if they manage their time and energy well. I know one woman who has had ME for 30 years who was able to dig out a large pond without serious ill effects, because she was able to manage her time.

For me, the multi-tasking needed for many ‘low energy’ work like housework is much more draining than chopping wood or digging the garden.

Balance

A more serious issue will be making sure no one felt they were doing all the work and others weren’t contributing their fair share. I think this will need discussion among all members – this is where the permaculture model could be very useful.

I think also it will take a shift in perspective – I know from experience, both as a very healthy boatbuilder and (subsequently) as a chronic invalid, how much we value physical work over work, such as cooking, listening and supporting. Particularly listening.

I think this is what would make this project significantly different from others. And, hopefully, very useful as (speaking personally) I think the world in general needs a shift like this.

However, I think having funding would mean that this needn’t be too dramatic a change. Slow gradual change tends to be more permanent. It would mean we could pay members to do certain jobs, if this seems appropriate.

Visible work over background work… For instance, in this group, because I’m more able to use computers (as I don’t find the screens too stressful and my brain fog often clears), I’ve been doing most of the visible work but I’m very aware that the support, inspirations and feedback I get from less active members is just as important. And probably they have used the same proportion of their energy as I have of mine.

Something that might help is an old ME guideline that I’ve found very useful over the years …

… those who are mildly affected should only use 60% of their potential energy

… moderately affected should only use 40% of theirs

… and severely affected only 20%

On the other hand

The corollary is that doing the work actually gives the person doing it more power – whoever does the work has to make minor decisions. For example, this website is bound to reflect my views more than the others because I can’t check back about every detail.

So, as I’m doing most of the foreground work in setting this group up, I’m very aware that it’s liable to reflect my perspective more than people doing more supportive background work. But, in this project, which is centred around energy issues, their perspective is probably more important than mine … and their insights into what’s needed are invaluable.

Similarly, I imagine many people are familiar with controlling doctors, home helps and family. Or even just people doing work on your home.

Comparison with aid for developing countries is interesting. My work with people in conflict-affected countries has made me very aware how powerful donors often provide solutions that are more in line with their own values and interests, rather than those of the receivers.

For enquiries, please email us on resilientcohousing@gmail.com… and use the comments for sharing thoughts…